Published: Tuesday, 14th October, 2008 12:30
Heartache over death of baby son
By Lorraine Tinney
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FAMILY’S HEARTACHE: Declan, Mary and their family cradle little Ryan.
A DEVASTATED couple have spoken of their heartache after their only child died in their arms two days after he was born.
Grieving Declan Patterson and Mary McConnachie are still trying to come to terms with the tragic loss of little Ryan Thomas three weeks ago. But they wanted to pay tribute to their ‘beautiful’ and ‘perfect’ wee boy, who bravely fought for life against all the odds.
Declan, 37, who stays with partner Mary and her two teenage daughters, Gaynor and Demi, in Greenock’s Cumberland Road, said: “I cannot put into words how special he was.
“As soon as I saw him, there was a bond straight away. He had fingernails that were quite sharp. He had blond curly hair and everything a baby should have — he was just beautiful.
“I have been waiting all my life to be a dad and when I heard it was a boy I was overjoyed he would be carrying on the Patterson name.”
But the expectant dad’s joy was short-lived when, during a visit to Declan’s parents in County Down in Northern Ireland, Mary couldn’t feel the baby kicking and Declan rushed her to hospital.
They were faced with the stark choice of an emergency Caesarian or losing Ryan. Within an hour, he was born, 30 weeks into the pregnancy and weighing a tiny 1lb 8oz on 22 September.
Medics at Craigavon Area Hospital in Portadown fought to save him and, despite not breathing for the first 15 minutes of his life, Ryan rallied round and desperately tried to hang on to life with the aid of a ventilator.
But within 48 hours it became clear he wasn’t going to survive and the couple had to make the most difficult decision of their lives — to turn the life support system off and let Ryan pass away peacefully.
A blood test later confirmed Ryan had a rare condition which meant his blood was draining into Mary’s bloodstream and he couldn’t breathe properly.
Mary, 38, who has been unable to leave the house since losing Ryan, said: “At first I didn’t want to listen to what the doctors were telling me. But then they told me all his wee cells were dying inside and I watched the machine moving his chest up and down.
“We didn’t want him to suffer, and it was then I agreed to take the tube out. I cradled him in my arms and then within five minutes his heart started to slow down.
“I’ve got cases full of Ryan’s clothes. I don’t think I could part with them but I’ve not been able to look at them yet.”
Declan said: “I keep wondering when this pain is going to go away and I don’t think it will. I just cannot find any answers to what has happened. I was given something I never thought I would have, only for it to be cruelly snatched away.
“When I see wee boys in their prams in the town it breaks my heart. I cannot bear it to see parents out with their babies.
“But I hope this helps other parents going through the same thing. You cannot prepare for something like this. You don’t expect a father to bury a son.
“We had to fill out the birth and death certificate at the same time. It brought tears to the nurses’ eyes.”
The couple managed to spend the next two days with their son, thanks to charity TinyLife which provides practical help and emotional support for bereaved parents.
Declan said: “There is no amount of money that could thank the staff. They even made up a book with pictures of Ryan, his hand and footprints. They are very special people.”
Declan and Mary would urge people moved by their story to make a donation to their nearest neo-natal unit or to TinyLife directly by logging on to www.tinylife.org.uk
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