A BRAVE Greenock mum has spoken of her heartbreak after her cherished baby died tragically in her sleep.

Alison Griffin’s beautiful daughter Louise Khandi was less than three days old when she passed away unexpectedly in 2009.

She weighed a healthy 8lb 12oz and mother and daughter went home two days after she was born.

After feeding her that night, she put Louise back to sleep in her moses basket.

Alison heard her on the baby monitor at 2am but when she went to wake her for a feed three hours later, she was horrified when her baby felt cold.

The devastated mum said: “It wasn’t until I went into the living room I saw she was looking blue.

“I was in a panic and I was crying. I phoned 999 and the operator was telling me how to do CPR.

“When they arrived the paramedics took over and said that there’s nothing more that could be done.

“I kept thinking this shouldn’t be happening.

“I felt numb. I kept holding Louise and rocking her back and forward.

“I kept thinking ‘why me, why did this happen to me?’ I couldn’t speak.”
Alison, who lives in Bow Road, was in shock at the time and said the paramedics explained that police would be coming as protocol but said she had done nothing wrong.

She then had to go over with the officers what had happened.

The traumatised young mum, who had only turned 22, was asked to show the police her daughter’s basket and they took photos of it and removed it along with her last nappy. 

A couple of days later, Alison, supported by her own mum Angela, then had to visit a funeral parlour and choose an outfit to lay her precious daughter to rest.

She said: “It is something I should never have had to do.

“She was laid in a little moses basket with her little outfit on.

“It was a lot to cope with.”

Louise’s funeral took place at St Joseph’s Church in Greenock only 10 days after she was born and she was laid to rest in the Rankin Memorial Garden.

A post mortem failed to give Alison the reason her precious daughter had been so cruelly taken from her.

She said: “It showed no cause of death so it was put down as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

“I wanted answers but the post mortem said nothing caused her passing.

“I didn’t get the closure I wanted, the answers to why she passed away in her sleep.

“I felt guilty because the estimated time of her passing was 4am and and she had been due a feed then but I let her sleep on.

“I did blame myself.

“She was with me for two days, six hours and 46 minutes.” 

In the days and weeks afterwards Alison struggled to cope with her terrible loss.

She said: “I slowly had to adjust and accept it but if I went into the town and saw someone pushing a newborn baby in a pram, I kept thinking that should be me and I used to avoid going into the town.”

Alison sought professional help but counselling made her feel worse and she turned to online support through the Lullaby Trust, the Scottish Cot Death Trust and Angel Mums.

Four years later, her  grief turned to joy when she she discovered she was pregnant and her son Kaleb Matthew was born in November 2013.

She said: “I was anxious but overjoyed and excited.

“I always wanted to be pregnant again but I was terrified it was going to happen again.

“The Scottish Cot Death Trust gave me a monitor to check his breathing and heart rate. 

“I didn’t sleep when I came home with him, and if I felt myself dozing off I woke up to see if he was still breathing.”

Kaleb knows all about his big sister and waves at her photograph in the hall of their home.

His mum takes him along to the Rankin Memorial Service  every year.

She said: “I took lots of pictures and videos when Kaleb was born. I must have taken 1,000 photographs in the first two weeks because I only had two pictures of Louise when she was alive.

“I go up and visit Louise in the memorial garden on her birthday and at Christmas, at Easter, Halloween and on October 15 at the end of Baby Loss Awareness Week.

“It makes me feel connected.

“It’s nice to decorate her headstone, so if she’s looking down, she knows we have been there.”

The mum who lives with Kaleb, her mother Angela and brother Michael, decided to speak to promote the Lullaby Trust which supports bereaved parents.

She says sudden death syndrome is more common than people think.

She said: “Figures on the Scottish Cot Death Trust website say one baby/child dies every nine days in Scotland.

“Sadly, about 40 infants die suddenly and unexpectedly in Scotland each year.”

Alison said: “I’ve spoken to my friends about it but this is the first time I’ve spoken about it publicly.

“Most people feel uncomfortable talking about the death of a baby but it happens and more than people think it does.

“I feel that if it wasn’t such a taboo subject people would know more about it.”

For more information visit www.lullabytrust.org or www.scottishcotdeathtrust.org