A BRAVE ex-submariner has spoken out about his 17-year mental health battle which was triggered by bullying in the forces and led him to repeatedly try to take his own life.

Darren Forsythe who was diagnosed with bi-polar now hopes to reach out to other sufferers, break down barriers and offer them hope.

It was during his turbulent time in the Royal Navy that he first began to fall seriously ill as he faced humiliation at the hands of superiors.

The Port Glasgow dad recently gave a moving speech at a mental health recovery day in the Beacon and is now going to the Scottish Parliament to take part in a special event aimed at helping prevent suicides, particuarly among young men.

Speaking during mental awareness week Darren, aged 41, originally from Greenock, said: "I first became unwell when I was 25 in the Royal Navy and onboard one of her submarines.

"I started getting bullied by some of my superior officers. It was mostly mockery and humiliation. I am six foot three. I was made to feel stupid.

" As the bullying got worse so did my mental health. My life started crumbling around me and I remember lying in my bunk praying for the bullying to stop and crying uncontrollably.

"It was the culture in the Royal Navy at the time. In many ways it was a great life and I loved the camaraderie and friendship with other servicemen.

" There was an investigations and some changes were put in place. But they just got a slap on the wrist.

"Once on the last day at sea I approached one of the superior officers to ask if I could get home and he very bluntly told me no.

" I just bust into tears in front of them. But they just laughed and told me I was a waste of space."

Darren went home and hid himself away.

Darren added: "The next thing I remember was two weeks later sitting in the dark.

"But I couldn’t cope with any more bullying and felt I only had one choice and that was to commit suicide.

" I had a pile of different tablets in front of me and I was scared. I remember thinking about my new born daughter and to be honest that’s what stopped me."

Darren, who first fell unwell in 2000, spoke to the Navy about his suicidal feelings was removed from duties onboard.

But his health began to deteriorate and he tried to kill himself six times in the next year alone, before going on to repeatedly try to take his own life and self harming at points.

He left the Royal Navy after serving for four years in 2002 and was diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar which causes him to swing from highs to lows in a matter of hours with no adjustment in between.

After his first spell in hospital he came home to Greenock, and began his long fight with bipolar and trying to find the right medication.

He said: "At this point when I was on a high I thought I was a super hero and I wanted to fight gangs.

"My 10 year-old-son was locking the windows and the doors and hiding the keys to keep me safe.

"When I was ill my son would creep in when he thought I was sleeping and give me a kiss and say “I love you.

"Those are some of my most precious memories I have."

Darren spoke about the lowest points of his illness which was the attempts at his own life.

He added: "When you try to commit suicide, it is the lowest feeling, you feel like you have no choice. It is the loneliest place in the world when you don't want to be here anymore. You are playing mind warfare with yourself.

" You feel like you can't go on and you try to make people hate you, so that you have no excuses not to do it. When you have bipolar you wear 1,000s of different masks every day. You can have a big smile on your face but inside you are dying.

At the Beacon to mark mental health week he spoke about his long road to recovery,

He added :"It took me four years to find my wonder drug Tegretol Retard and only then did I start to get my life back.

"Up until then I was in hospital four or five times a year.

"Someone once told me that recovery was 70 per cent medication and 30 per cent me. I understand that now."

Through the support of services like the Community Mental Health Team, Gateway, Inverclyde Association of Mental Health and In-work along the way he has found support when he needed it the most.

Fitness fanatic Darren also believes exercise is crucial.

He added: "I wouldn't be where I am without exercise. I had a setback at one point when I suffered injuries to my knees. It is so important when you have a mental health illness to exercise.

"When I was first put on medication one of the side I put went from 12 stone to 19 stone in a matter of months. Your body is not designed for that. It is was really difficult to think of exercise when you can barely get off the couch. But that is what I had to do to get myself better.

" There are great services in Inverclyde. It is just finding them. I have had very positive experiences."

Eight years ago he found happiness again with his wife Jill and that was another turning point.

Darren said: "She has always stuck by me and is my number one supporter and the biggest confidence booster.

"She believes I can do anything. But we have had our ups and downs."

Jill was in the audience when Darren spoke in front of people from across Inverclyde at the event to highlight recovery services locally.

Darren said: "But I couldn't believe the reaction. People were emotional and coming up to me and shaking my hand after it.

"I just want to offer hope to people, hope that you can live a life with bi polar. It is about accepting your illness. I am Darren with bipolar. The old Darren has gone."

Darren and Jill live in Mull Avenue Port Glasgow with Jill's daughter Bethany, 13, and their son Olly, 7. He also has two older children from his first marriage.

Jill, who suffered from post natal depression herself with her first child and is now a zumba instructor, said: "I was so, so proud of Darren at the Beacon. It was very moving. You could hear a pin drop when he was speaking."

Darren has been invited to attend a special breakfast at the Scottish Parliament in June to inform the debate around suicide prevention policy.

The Scottish Government are looking at ways to tackle suicide which is the biggest killer of Scottish men aged 35 to 44.