OKAY, sitting comfortably? Shut your eyes and imagine for a while that you are a dog.

You can be any kind of dog you want to be, but you are a dog. And you’re petrified. You are a petrified dog.

Your heart is racing, pounding in your hairy chest. Your breathing is heavy and laboured. Your legs are like jelly and you can’t keep still.

You are so scared you are trying to squeeze yourself under the sofa but you are too big. You wish you were a smaller dog. You are bursting for the loo but you daren’t go out because out there in the black night is the evil monster who has been tormenting you for days.

He appears with no warning. A screaming burst of sound and a flash of light, which fills you with dread. Over and over again.

You don’t know it’s just a firework. Your life is misery. Your owner keeps petting you, which is confusing because you’re sure you’re not doing the right thing but he seems to be telling you that you are. When you whine in fear he whines back.

Maybe you are supposed to behave like this. Sometimes, when they are really fed up with you, your owner gives you a sedative that leaves you lying, unable to move, but still petrified. Now, be an owner again. The owner of a noise-phobic dog. What should you do to counteract your pet’s fear of fireworks?

Let’s start off by getting him tired during the day. Let’s have him really sleepy by night-time. An early evening high carbohydrate meal might help.

Get a Dog Appeasing Pheromone (Adaptil) plug-in diffuser from your vet. It has been proven to reduce fearful responses in dogs by up to 80 per cent and should be used from now until a week after Guy Fawkes Night.

Get your dog into a blacked out room at sundown with a few toys and things for you to do as well. Keep him under control.

Don’t chastise him for his neurotic behaviour, or reward him for it by petting him.

Rather engage his mind in some form of game and ignore his fearful reactions. Put some music on, preferably with a constant drumbeat. It doesn’t need to be loud, just enough to smooth over the noise from outside.

If you can, make him a safe place to hide and soundproof it as much as possible. If you have to take him out, be in control again.

Make sure his collar is tight enough that he can’t slip it, and don’t make a fuss. Just go. Whatever you do, don’t start getting all worked up yourself. Take it easy. Be chilled. It will soon be over.

If things are really bad get some diazepam-type medication from your vet, which reduces anxiety, without sedating. Calmex or Zylkene can also help. And lastly, remember how bad this time of year is and resolve to speak to your vet about getting a Desensitisation CD and booklet so that you can start dealing with the problem in a simple, logical, easy manner.

Phone the surgery for free advice.