Greenock woman has told how she is still haunted 34 years after losing her son to cot death

Joanne Bradley, 60, gave birth to second child Stephen on March 22, 1985.

He was a happy and healthy baby spoiled by his family but just over five weeks later, on April 28, he was gone, with no definitive reason given.

Joanne says she can still vividly remember discovering that her son wasn’t breathing.

She said: “It was horrible.

"It’s not something you can imagine.

“I tormented myself for a long time wondering how I didn’t notice something was wrong.

"I still feel guilty, that feeling never leaves you.”

Police attended at the property and Joanne was terrified she had done something wrong.

A post mortem was carried out which showed no cause, with Stephen a happy, contented, well looked after baby.

Joanne said: “There was no indication anything was wrong.

"He didn’t even have a cold.

"To find out I hadn’t done anything wrong was a relief but not getting an answer or a reason why it happened has made the whole family anxious.

“After grief came anger that I never got an answer and it was just unexplained, I never got closure.

“The best we got was that it is more common in boys and more likely to happen in the winter months, sometimes they are so content they just forget to breathe.”

Joanne went on to have two more daughters, Stephanie who is now 33 and Melissa who is now 26.

Both Stephanie, Melissa and their older sister Margaret-Anne, 39, have children of their own, Gabrielle, 12 who was born on the anniversary of Stephen's death, eight-year-old twins Brooke and Taylor, Scott, aged seven who is the only other boy in the family and has the middle name Stephen, Charlotte, 18 months, and Callie, who is four months.

Joanne said: “I couldn’t enjoy any of my pregnancies after that because I was so anxious.

“When Stephanie was born we didn’t go out, I didn’t let her out of my sight.

"We were always checking on her.

“Now we are all the same, even Stephanie and Melissa who were born after Stephen are a nightmare, forever checking on the kids because we were not given a definite cause so we don’t know what to look out for.

“The fear never leaves.

“Cot death isn’t something people think about until it happens to them, then it's all you can think about.”

Joanne and her children have all had monitors from the Cot Death Trust to use for their babies.

The machines monitor their breathing and alerts parents to any changes.

Joanne said:

“The Cot Death Trust are brilliant.

"They are there when you think you don’t have anyone else to talk to and the monitors bring peace of mind.

The family support the Cot Death Trust where they can, buying merchandise from the website.

Stephanie bought wedding favours from the charity and the family host fundraisers and have to date raised a couple of thousand pounds for the organisation.

But Joanne says she is still haunted by what happened.

She said: “Thirty four years later and I still don’t have an answer.

"People are still reluctant to speak about cot death and there really isn’t much information available.

“It affected us all and in the UK there are still 255 cot deaths a year.

“Anything we can do to support the charity we will.”