MR Smith-Penderton-Moore had been online for longer than it took to spell his surname, so there was no point in even discussing the matter in hand. Or paw, I guess.

Every Google search had provided him with the same answer. Every website had pushed him in a similar direction. Every forum was populated by like-minded, sympathetic, emphatic, knowledgeable people, all of whom had experienced exactly what he and his dog were going through, though none of them had any medical qualifications whatsoever.

That is what’s so absolutely amazingly pure dead genius brilliant about the internet. Just type in ‘vomiting dog’ and the sure-fire diagnosis pops up immediately and is plain for all to see.

Once you have decided on a particular choice, further detailed information only serves to confirm what you already know. Pretty soon, you discover there is a whole community of fellow sufferers who empathise, sympathise and never criticise. After all, they’ve been there too.

So I listened carefully and quietly to Mr Smith-Penderton-Moore telling me there was no hope for his seven year old Golden Retriever. He undoubtedly was afflicted by lymphoma, which was affecting his stomach, causing him to have a poor appetite and vomit intermittently but regularly.

There was nothing we could do about it, apparently, and he was not prepared to watch his beloved pet suffer the long, slow, agonising demise that now haunted so many of the people in his online support group.

Mr Smith-Penderton-Moore informed me (I didn’t bother to tell him I had read it too) that Golden Retrievers have a one in eight lifetime chance of developing this condition, which is much greater than most breeds.

In short, Mr Smith-Penderton-Moore said his dog had cancer, was terminally ill, and, very regrettably, should be put to sleep, so as to avoid further suffering. He had watched his symptoms develop slowly but surely over the last month and they had both had enough.

I looked at the dog, who looked at me. I think we were both thinking the same thing.

Who needs careful history taking, close examination, abdominal palpation, blood tests, digital X-rays, ultrasound scans, endoscopes and a little bit of medical knowledge when you have the internet? What is the point of thirty-nine years of experience of treating thousands of dogs with a particular condition when you can go online and virtually chat to one person who has owned one affected dog? Why have a pharmacy stocked with clinically trialled, safety tested, potent medications when you can purchase unregulated ‘natural’ rubbish marketed by totally unsubstantiated claims of unbelievable efficacy? (Barring, of course, the glowing testimonials of Mrs McSquadgel et al.)

I am glad to say Mr Smith-Penderton-Moore did listen to reason. He accepted that there were many possible causes of his dog’s illness. He allowed us to examine and X-ray his dog.

Once anaesthetised, we opened into his stomach and removed the ankle sock that had probably been in there for four weeks. Mr Smith-Penderton-Moore hadn’t missed it because the internet had told him his washing machine was ‘eating’ them.